- Dear Kansas: I picked you to win it all. Why? I picked you this year, because I never pick you. I always pick with my heart and lose, so this year I mixed it up. Well, by now, we all know how that turned out. Your name now appears in Red and the entire right side of my bracket looks like blood shed. If you're going to lead most of the game, then by all means get a few defensive stops and be smart about your offense. There's no way that Michigan should have been able to come back. When you're winning in the tourney and I pick you to win it all, you need to CLOSE OUT THE GAME. Annnnnnnnnnnnnd, if you have a chance to tie it (i.e. since you're RIGHT THERE AT THE BASKET), do NOT kick the ball out for a crazy 3-point attempt. Sometimes you need to play the additional 5 minutes to prevent your season from ending.
- Dear Ohio State: I didn't watch your game, and from the score, it looks like you may not have even showed up for it until the 2nd half. I'm sure there's a story regarding officiating and what not, but hearing from my fellow Ohioans about the terrible first half, made me scared about the final score. At least the final score was respectable... Oh well, another quartile of my bracket went to hell, but since Kansas broke it first, I can't be too upset. Now I have Wichita State to watch. Thanks for a great season Buckeyes, but losing to Wichita State?!?! Oh well. That's the tourney...
- Dear Florida Gulf Coast University: I was hoping you'd beat Florida. Even though you didn't pull off the upset, I'm still impressed and your school is now on my radar. Seemingly, out of no where, you graced my TV with 3 pointers, and tremendous inside shots/dunks because you actually did something I rarely see nowadays. You all were smart enough to follow your shots and rebound. Brilliant. Every year, I try to go to Vegas for part of the tournament and my friends from Portland, OR were all over your squad this year. Why? Coach Andy Enfield's wife, Amanda (i.e. a former model). My friends are obsessed with her! I'm not one to go against the guys in my group, so "For Love of Amanda" we rooted for you until you finally lost.
- Dear Indiana (Tom Crean): Please pool together some money and drive Tom Crean to get his hair cut. Alternatively, you guys should just shave his head. Crean's hair is terrible. How are you supposed to win a championship, when Tom Crean's hair is such a "distraction"? Crean looks like Dwight from the TV show "The Office".
- Dear Louisville (Rick Pitino): I always joke that you're a tough team to bet on because you never know whether Pitino wants to coach or commentate on TV. Well, this year, I guess Pitino wants to coach. In previous years, I would've taken you all to the Finals and named you as Champions. As mentioned above, this year I took a different strategy. Yeah... Thanks...
- Dear Syracuse: First of all I'm convinced the NCAA needs to investigate then for the crazy play and scoring associated with the game against California. Something wasn't right. You're the most schizophrenic team in the tournament. I have no idea what you're going to do when you hit the court. When you guys were blown out against Georgetown at home in the regular season, all of my friends who are Syracuse alumni, were disgusted. Now, all of a sudden Jim Boeheim has you playing. Well, if there's a time to peak, the time is now so I guess you win that battle. I still don't think you can win the war though...
- Dear Duke: Keep on doing whatever you're doing. I love it when you win. I've been to many a game at Cameron Indoor Stadium and Duke winning it all, wasn't in my bracket... Duke basketball winning a NCAA championship is a Tarheel nightmare, but a Duke fan's dream.
THE WIRK